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“IF I CAN’T SMOKE, I AIN’T COMIN’”

Plus: Mike Piazza’s “King of the World” gift

Los Angeles, April 15 – There’s a considerable storm on the plains of Nebraska and it has nothing to do with either corn or Nebraska football.

It’s about smoking and city officials of the state capitol of Lincoln.

Seems that comedian Ron White sauntered through town last Friday night on his “Drunk in Public” tour to perform before a big house of 4,500-plus fans in Lincoln’s Pershing Center. And in violation of a Lincoln city ordinance, he lit up a cigar right at the start of the show, to go along with the bottle of Scotch that also accompanied him on stage.

Reporter Deena Winter of the Lincoln Journal Star reported that a fan shouted a question about how much the cigar cost, assuming that it would lead to a fine. “Nothin’” was the reported answer and White went on from there.

“I said if I can’t smoke, I ain’t comin’,” he said to thunderous applause, then added, “And if you don’t like it, the exits are there, there, there, . . .”

In the legal melee which followed the performance, Pershing Center Manager Tom Lorenz thought the on-stage smoking was covered by an exception in the anti-smoking law, as did City Attorney Dana Roper. But there is no exception contained in the law passed by voters last November, leaving both with some proverbial egg on their faces.

Now, Assistant Police Chief Jim Peschong told the Journal Star that his department was going to look into the matter. He was supported by an editorial the next day in the newspaper which emphasized that if a local smoker gets cited for smoking (as about a dozen have since the law was passed), White should, too. In the all-too-righteous tone of the anti-smoking lobby, the editorial noted “White should have no trouble paying the fine” and concluded “And White better get used to smoking bans. One by one more bans go into effect. Just this month Montana became the 10th state to enact a statewide smoking ban.”

I doubt White cares.

As the theatre manager Lorenz told the reporter about the White show, “It was such a success and we need successes,” as the Pershing Center complex becomes less and less interesting as a performing venue.

All such bans do is chase the talent away. Doesn’t that hurt them? Not likely. Shows like White’s “Drunk in Public” tour can those venues where his act – complete with smoking and drinking – is permitted in full, and make a television special or DVD of a live concert to entertain those whose civic policies don’t permit him to appear and perform in a censored environment. Our First Amendment protects performers who will tell you that Adolf Hitler was a hero, but not allow smoking. After all, he didn’t permit smoking either.

The City budget office should also note that restrictions like Lincoln’s are a big reason why acts which fill auditoriums like Pershing Center go to Las Vegas, Reno and Branson, Missouri, attracting visitors who would otherwise spend their money at home. Then these same folks watch television specials which also earn the city no revenue and buy their DVDs from Amazon.com, escaping state and/or city sales taxes.

So, Lincoln gets nothing. The voters got what they asked for, and now they can live with it. Me, I’m going to have a cigar . . .

Mets manager “The King of the World” after first win:
Mets catcher Mike Piazza gave new manager Willie Randolph an El Rey del Mundo cigar just before the start of the season, in advance of celebrating his first win as New York’s new manager.

Unfortunately, he had to wait for a while to enjoy it, since the Mets dropped their first five games of the season! But following a 6-1 road win over Atlanta on April 10 (Pedro Martinez beating John Smoltz), Randolph savored his first victory and earned a few puffs. “I’ve got it in my bag and I’m definitely going to smoke it tonight,” he told reporters after the game.

It was fully appropriate that Randolph get to smoke a cigar after beating the Braves. Atlanta manager Bobby Cox is a devoted cigar smoker as well as a winning skipper, so now Randolph and Cox have cigars and winning in common this week.

Hammer time:
That stunning Partagas 150 humidor up on CigarAuctioneer.com drew 32 bids over the one-week auction period and finally sold for a healthy $2,750 ($18.20 per stick).

That’s just slightly higher than the suggested retail price of $2,720, for the winning bidder from Roslyn Heights, New York. Thankfully, the winner was not from Nebraska.

Golfers follow-up:
Sharp-eyed readers of yesterday’s note on the Montecristo Golf Set note that Davidoff has also offered a golfer’s package featuring four Davidoff-branded golf balls, four Davidoff-branded tees and two Davidoff No. 2 Tubos (6 inches by 38 ring) for around $41.95.

Bonus Rankings Flipbook Offer!
Subscribers to our CigarWire service already have access to our exclusive rankings of the top mild, medium and full-bodied cigars. Why not join them?

Through the month of April, you can get our all-in-one package of (1) one-year subscription to our value-packed CigarWire, (2) one copy of our 600-page Perelman’s Pocket Cyclopedia of Cigars for 2005, (3) one copy of our newPerelman’s Pocket Cyclopedia of Havana Cigars (third edition) plus (4) our 24-page, vest-pocket-sized 2004 Rankings Flipbook!

That’s normally a $61.85 value with shipping, but we’re offering all of this at 23% off at our special, discounted price of $47.50 through the end of April only.

Your subscription will also include our “Week in Review” newsletter sent each Thursday with a summary of our top stories of the week!
~ Rich Perelman

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